Friday, March 03, 2006

Friday Night Girls


Number 1 husband and son are passed out from overindulging in bedtime stories. I teasingly call him "Number 1" to insinuate that if he's not careful there could be a number 2. He is completely unphased by my idle threats, so certain he is of my devotion...And he'd be right.

When we met, I was dangerous, reckless, even flip. He held on to me believing that a rogue breeze might lead me astray.
I was completely unprepared for the potency of my feelings. From the moment I met him I knew...I just knew.
In a perverse attempt at self protection I threw myself at every man who crossed my path. I genuinely tried my best to keep it casual, to not be in love. It was frightening to me to be so connected, so certain and so...happy. Our second date was in an isolated coastal cabin, no electricity, no plumbing, no people. On day two he dozed with a school book splayed across his chest while I waited out lamb stew on the old wood stove. At some point I realized we hadn't spoke a single word in hours... and it was fine. No anxiety, no fear...am I boring? am I pretty? I knew. After we went for a walk and had a snowball fight on a frozen bog. we laughed our asses off, went inside and he kindly ate the worst meal I have ever cooked. Six years, two kids, a house, and all the trimmings...

That night in the cove, listening to him sleeping and the awful stew simmering... I knew I would be here, 6 years later, 60 years later. And every day I thank my lucky stars that he locked his jaw against my early indescretions and held fast.